Amsterdam Ministry: What am I allowing my life to be filled with?

This is something I have been challenged on over the past few months. To truly think about what I am filling myself with and what I need to surrender to God.

As I was reading through Matthew 12, there was the use of the imagery of a tree. A tree which can only bear good fruit or it can only bear bad fruit. It cannot do both. 12v33 Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognised by its fruit. The fruit that we produce truly comes down to what we fill ourselves with. This is similar to a post I did about what my heart was pursuing, earlier on in the year. I hope in this one to go a little deeper and to share what I have learned over the past few months.

What I am choosing to fill up on, is something that has been challenging me in all areas of my life. My emotions, my thoughts and my actions have all been impacted with what I am choosing to fill up on. I feel blessed to be in the place that God has put me in at the moment. I live in a Christian community and work at a Christian shelter; it is essential that the words and actions I pour out are in accordance with principles and morals of my faith and that of the shelter. In being pushed to share my faith with people, it has allowed me time to reflect and pursue Jesus more. I want to know more and more about him so that I can share the gospel message in its fullness. In spending more time in God’s word it has also led to healing over my life. Especially over past hurts and spiritual wounds. Once they are surrendered to God it has made room to be filled with God’s truth and love.

In surrendering, it has led me to think about all the things that I was consuming. Especially the media, books and what other things I was spending my free time doing. I have taken some time to fast a lot of the media I was consuming. Especially on Netflix where I would spend hours watching and rewatching things. I was using it as a way to relax but then it began to take over a lot of my time. Having given it up for the time I am in Amsterdam, has allowed me more time to explore and spend with people. It bought me out of a comfort zone I had placed my dependence on. It has gave me more time to read too, especially books on faith. Which has not only enabled my faith to grow, it has been an encouragement to people I have shared it with. In filling myself up with God’s truth and love, it has enabled me to serve and understand people better.

There has been such beauty from allowing my mind to focus on something different. This is what Paul teaches in Romans 12v2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but he transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will. To learn to find freedom from the things we put out trust in, is not easy but there is real blessing. Being able to enjoy the activities we enjoy, is not a bad thing. When they are the only way we find or fulfilment, we will always fall short. We will never be enough or what they are offering will never be enough. We will always want more. What occupies our mind is what will pour out of us. It will either be that of truth and love or that of darkness and death. Our words are the true fruit that show where our roots are, what we have filled our life with. Our fruit will either be that which bring refreshment or poison to those around us.

These verses in Colossians have impacted the way that I want to use my life. 4v5-6 ‘Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation, be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.’ To live out these verses, means making a conscience choice on what I am pursuing and filling my life with. To make the choice each day to deny myself and glorify God with the life he has given me. To serve people well and to allow God to love through me. That means surrender, it means trust. In pursuing God, it allows me to pour out more of his love and truth to his people. I would rather be pouring out that, than trying to pour out the worldly wisdom that I have been doing.

Sometimes we need to take time to check out hearts. To allow ourselves to see what it is full of. To make the choice whether we would like to surrender our will for his will or to continue on our way. I have learned, that in pursuing our way we will always want more and will never be filled. When we pursue God, we find much more purpose and life to pour out. For Jesus teaches that it is only through him that true fulfilment is found. Everything else, will not satisfy.

John 4v14 but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.

I am still learning. Each day I am making choices, some days I still make the wrongs one. I never forget that God’s grace never fails to meet us in the place where we are. That it is by his guidance and strength that we find freedom. Keep pursuing God and filling up on the things that only he can provide.

May you all have a blessed week. You are truly loved and cherished. Always feel free to leave a message, question or even just say hi. God bless, Victoria. Xx