Turning 25 and saying goodbye to the past.

Hello to you all. I have not blogged in a little while. I share with you a short update on what has been happening in my life. I am currently still in lockdown so not too much has been happening. These months have certainly allowed for some personal growth.

I turned 25 on Wednesday so I am now officially halfway through my 20’s. Which is kind of exciting, but it is showing me how quickly life is passing by. I did have a wonderful birthday; it was my second one in lockdown, but it was beautiful. I was thankful for my friends and family who made the day wonderful. I am thankful to the Lord for giving me a new year of life.

One of the things I did before my birthday was to get rid of old journals. (I still have my journals from 2019 and onwards). I started journaling when I was 18 and I had gone to university; as a way of tracking my thoughts, writing down memories and my prayers. While I love looking back on memories, some of those journals contained some of my saddest and toughest moments. I am unfortunately someone who focuses a lot on the past, I do find it hard to forgive myself and to show myself grace.

While I cannot literally let go of the past because the past is primarily what has led me to my present state. In allowing my past to determine my present and to be part of my everyday life; I was limiting my life in many ways. One night while my brain was in overdrive about something which had happened in the past, I just had this thought to destroy the journals I had from those years. It was more an act of physically letting go of what I was trying to hold on to. I shredded about 4+ years of journals to let go of a lot of hurt I was holding onto. I did it prayerfully because I have had so many conversations with the Lord, asking Him to just take away the hurt. I felt as I shredded each journal, that was the final act of letting the past be the past. Allowing myself the grace and freedom to move on.

Even my blog started just before I turned 22. It was the year; I was trying to re-establish my faith after a lot of hurt which had occurred in my university years. I thank God, for every opportunity He has given me to grow in wisdom and understanding of His Word. As the Lord teaches me, many of those moments are turned into blogs. If you know me personally, when someone shares anything good with me, I always want others to be part of it. I think this is always what I wanted this blog to represent. As I have been growing in my relationship with the Lord over the past few years, I know I can trust Him in all I face. He will go before me and will be with me through it all.

The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it. (1 Thessalonians 5:24)

I would say the first few months of 2021 has been about letting things go, which I had known for a while was limiting my growth.

This year I fully deleted my Instagram because I knew personally it was not something I was using for any sort of good. It led me to compare myself, to covet what others had, etc, which I knew did not glorify the Lord. I deleted my main account back in January and then I fully deleted my book account back in February. It has been officially over a month now in which I have not used Instagram. I have been learning the longer I go without it, the less I have missed it. I have been finding I am more present and enjoying my own life. I am not saying Instagram is a bad thing, it was my own personal choice to get rid of it.

As I have been letting things go, it has now left room not only for healing but room to pick up new things. While lockdown has not been easy it has been a blessing in some ways. One of the things I love, and I will miss when I go back to work, is morning walks with my younger sister. We try to do this daily; we go to one of our local parks and walk around it for a while. We have a laugh while also putting the world to rights. It makes me feel refreshed for the rest of the day. I have started reading more translated novels this year, staring with South Korean and Japanese authors and I have not been disappointed by a book yet. I have had a lot of opportunities to do more ministry while we have been in lockdown. I have not always found it easy, but the Lord has been so faithful to bring sermons and everything together.

April is coming very soon, and I will be back with new blogs. In the time I have been away, I have been learning a lot so I will be turning those lessons into blogs. Thank you to each of you who continue to read my blogs. It is a joy to receive a message or a comment on what you have been learning or receiving. Glory be to the Lord because His word never comes back void.

I pray for you who are reading this, in whatever you are facing may you know the presence of the Lord within your situation. Even on your hardest day may you know His peace and comfort and the Lord’s strength to keep pressing forward. Life is not easy, but the Lord has promised He will be with us through it all.

“I have told you these things, so that in my you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

May God bless you and keep you. Love, Victoria. xx

One thought on “Turning 25 and saying goodbye to the past.

  1. Very good reflective blog Tori. Reminded me to have confidence in God given abilities and be true to myself.

    Like

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