Today I failed my driving test, for the first time. I made the error early on in my driving test; truthfully, I was too slow pulling out on a roundabout. I knew by the reaction of the test instructor that I had failed. However, I did not allow that failure to impact the rest of the test, I chose to put all I had learned to practise and to do my best. When I had finished my test, though I had failed, I could be proud of all the progress I had made. Though it was disappointing I had failed, I was not disappointed with myself. The instructor commented that there were many positives from my driving. To be able to reflect on where I had started to where I was now, I was thankful for all the experiences. Though I will need to further my experience on the road before my next test, there are many goals I have achieved this year.
An important lesson I have learned is that failure does not mean that I cannot do something. I am a confident driver but there are skills that I need to develop further. This is an important lesson that I need to take into all areas of my life. That when life is hard and I do not get things first time around; I should not have the belief that I cannot do it. I have a defeatist attitude, if I fail then I give up. This year I have been learning that skills, like driving, take time and patience. No one has ever got anywhere without failing, those who are successful have not always been successful. They have had many failed attempts to be where they are now.
Normally I would be really harsh on myself because I have not succeeded but not this time. This year a lesson that I have been learning within my faith is to show myself grace. I believe God has been teaching me this through his word and through the people in my life. I have been learning that my worth does not come from when I succeed or when I fail. That my purpose is in who God says I am and the authority that he has over the situations in my life. I do not have to label myself as dumb or stupid because I did not understand how to do something first time. The incredible people who have spoke words of encouragement, even when I was struggling has been incredible. I feel blessed with the driving instructor who took me from knowing nothing to being able to understand how to drive and to have achieved confidence in my driving. There were many doubts that ran through my head and twice I was ready to give up. I have learned to have determination to push through what I believe are my limitations and to have grace towards myself while I do it. That when I am anxious and scared, to trust in God’s leading and guidance because with him all things are possible.
While I take time away from driving, to go abroad for my internship. I will continuously engage in reminding myself of the skills and knowledge I need. Therefore, when I get back I am ready to pick up where I left off.
I pray for any of you struggling, who have failed in an area of your life. To not label yourself as a failure. That you would be able to reflect on all the skills and lessons that you learned from that experience; that you would pick yourself up and walk forwards into new experiences. May we be people who will encourage one another. I know from all the kindness and advice that I have been blessed with this year, that I want to be able to pay it forward so that someone else can be blessed. That is an encouraging way for us to be. We will meet people in our life time who will trample us down and make us feel weak and insecure. May we not pay that forward to people. Life is hard enough without having to belittle someone else. Remember, failure is not the end. For some of us it will mean developing our skills further. For others, it may mean pursuing something different. While disappointment can be found in failure, it does not have to be disappointing.
Philippians 4v13 ‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.‘
Keep moving forward,
Love Victoria. xx