Wishing time away!

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I have fallen into the trap, as most young adults do, of questioning what I am doing with my life? Which is a process that everyone goes through, it helps to give people insight or, for some, it gives them that awful dread because they have no idea. Which is the category I fall into. I decided in the Autumn after finishing my degree that I wanted to take around two years to unwind and to work on the things that were important to me. These were the passions that had taken a back seat while I was in my studies. For some people they would be questioning why a 22 year old was not in a full time job in an office or pursuing a job which was more related to the field that I studied. The only answer I can give is I just wasn’t ready nor willing to do that yet. I have a job now where I earn a good amount of money where I can save money for myself but also give living costs for being back at home. It also gives me the time to work on my passions. One of them was definitely reading more and being able to use more social media to promote my views and to connect with other people. This year has enabled me to read a lot more books than I have done in the past years. It has also allowed me to start a Bookstagram page which I love having and is enabling me to be more creative in how I present what I read. It has given me the time to work on writing book reviews and become part of a community in which other people share the same passions I have. This has given me the opportunity to enable me to start a blog which is definitely a work in progress. It is something I enjoy doing, being someone who is not always the most outspoken person it enables me to share my views and opinions on life. It has also been a blessing to see how it has helped people in their faith too, which is all I really wanted it to do.

One negative from this period is having a lot more time to think. Also, it is difficult to keep myself motivated to pursue what I love. One question that keeps popping up is what are you going to do career wise when these two years are up? I can never answer that question. The plan that I originally had when I was doing my course was to go into some aspect of church ministry, this is an idea I have stored at the back of my mind. I feel it is not who I am anymore or what I want to be doing.  Instead of enjoying each day as it comes, I am constantly worrying about what I think I should be doing by now and my future plans. To be honest it drains that day of its light and its hope. Which leads to me becoming unmotivated and thinking this is all for nought. Which is not true. I would rather take a year or two in my early twenties to pursue what I love than regret not doing it. One of my main ambitions is to go around Europe near the end of this year which is something I have wanted to do for a long time. I would like to become more skilled in doing photography and design for my Bookstagram page. I would also love to become a more developed writer too. All of which takes time. I need to be more grateful for that time, not always wishing it away because I need to have the next stage of my life planned.

I know for myself, and possibly you who are reading this, that we can get burdened with where we believe that we need to be. There is this constant need to compare ourselves to those around us where we feel unsatisfied because we are not at the stage where they are. One thing I need to constantly remind myself, possibly you too, is we all have our own road to travel and that road is going to look different for every one of us. In some places we will be going so slow compared to those around us but those are the steps that you need to take at that moment. Life should not be a race in which you are constantly trying to keep up with everyone else. That is an incredibly tiring and draining life. It is about doing what is right for you, no matter what that pace is. As long as you are content and working hard at what you love then that is success. Life is beautiful, it is about choosing to focus on the blessings that you already have, not on what you could have.

As for me, I am learning to be content in the moment. To be thankful for the time I have now. I have learned to find more peace in daily living which I hope will impact in how my mind views the future. If I keep growing daily and keep working hard at what I do, then I hope that I will learn to see that as success.

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